Monday, June 11, 2007
Good Days, Bad Days
The life of an Alzheimer's patient, or more accurately, his caretakers, is marked by Good Days and Bad Days. A good day is one on which dad is cooperative, accomodating, easygoing, or complacent. A bad day is one on which he is uncooperative, argumentative, unwilling or even billigerent. There is no rational reason for the occurance of bad or good days. They are unpredictable. Sometimes he goes from bad to good moments in a flash. It's the nature of the disease.
Sometimes a day starts out good and turns bad. Like last Friday for instance.
Dad goes to adult day care twice a week. We tried a couple of these groups with no success. He didn't seem to want to go, or stay.
Fortunately, to our surprise and mom's delight, the third group she found turned out to be the charm. He goes twice a week and really seems to enjoy it. In fact, mom reports that when she arrives to pick him up, he often wants her to stay.
The group is run by Catholic Charities, which is less significant than the caliber of people they employ. It's the wonderfully empathic and interactive group leaders who make it interesting for the patients. Even with Alzheimer's, or perhaps because of it, it is hard to keep dad's attention more than a half hour but they manage to keep him involved for 4-5 hours each day, twice a week.
Admittedly, it's a lot like daycare for children. They have short attention spans and need to be constantly stimulated. There are many different activities like those you would expect at a kindergarten. Coloring, dancing, singing, games.
I dropped dad off once and met his "teachers." It made me sad to leave him there, feeling a reversal of rolls, dropping my "child" off. My dad is a brilliant man -- how could his life have come to this? But it makes him happy and stimulates him mentally in ways he would not get at home.
Last Friday he went to his group like he usually does, without incident. I'm sure most of the day he was fine. That afternoon mom got a call from the group leader saying he wanted to leave and she should come pick him up. Dad's behavior is totally unpredictable. There's no explanation for why he wanted to leave, he just did. And one thing he has always been is strong willed. Alzheimer's hasn't changed that.
When mom arrived at the church where the daycare is held, dad had already left the building and was a block away, accompanied by one of the social workers. I'm not sure where he thought he was going but I'm sure he knew in his own mind -- probably home.
The following day was what I would call a good day. I visited for most of the afternoon and we went out to lunch, grocery shopping, a hair cut and then home to sign prints. He was cooperative most of the day. Although dad argued that he didn't need a haircut, once we got to the barber shop and he saw Gino, who's been cutting his hair for 15 years, he acquiesced. Familiar faces, voices and locations tend to assuage him.
At home, I got him to sign 100 prints of the new "Love Thy Neighbor" serigraph. This is a special treat because he does not often want to sign, and when he does he will sometimes stop at 50. His signature is very close to his original, and once he gets started, it comes easily for him, but getting him started is not always easy. I have on occasion found myself gently coaxing him for over an hour before giving up.
He will look at his prints, admire them and comment how beautiful they are. I'm pretty certain he recognizes who the artist is, but if I ask he won't say. He just won't sign. Almost as if he feared signing.
So you see, Friday was a good day that became a bad day and Saturday was a good day. His behavior is quite unpredicatable, which is a big part of managing him. If we knew what to anticipate it would be a piece of cake...or not.
Sometimes a day starts out good and turns bad. Like last Friday for instance.
Dad goes to adult day care twice a week. We tried a couple of these groups with no success. He didn't seem to want to go, or stay.
Fortunately, to our surprise and mom's delight, the third group she found turned out to be the charm. He goes twice a week and really seems to enjoy it. In fact, mom reports that when she arrives to pick him up, he often wants her to stay.
The group is run by Catholic Charities, which is less significant than the caliber of people they employ. It's the wonderfully empathic and interactive group leaders who make it interesting for the patients. Even with Alzheimer's, or perhaps because of it, it is hard to keep dad's attention more than a half hour but they manage to keep him involved for 4-5 hours each day, twice a week.
Admittedly, it's a lot like daycare for children. They have short attention spans and need to be constantly stimulated. There are many different activities like those you would expect at a kindergarten. Coloring, dancing, singing, games.
I dropped dad off once and met his "teachers." It made me sad to leave him there, feeling a reversal of rolls, dropping my "child" off. My dad is a brilliant man -- how could his life have come to this? But it makes him happy and stimulates him mentally in ways he would not get at home.
Last Friday he went to his group like he usually does, without incident. I'm sure most of the day he was fine. That afternoon mom got a call from the group leader saying he wanted to leave and she should come pick him up. Dad's behavior is totally unpredictable. There's no explanation for why he wanted to leave, he just did. And one thing he has always been is strong willed. Alzheimer's hasn't changed that.
When mom arrived at the church where the daycare is held, dad had already left the building and was a block away, accompanied by one of the social workers. I'm not sure where he thought he was going but I'm sure he knew in his own mind -- probably home.
The following day was what I would call a good day. I visited for most of the afternoon and we went out to lunch, grocery shopping, a hair cut and then home to sign prints. He was cooperative most of the day. Although dad argued that he didn't need a haircut, once we got to the barber shop and he saw Gino, who's been cutting his hair for 15 years, he acquiesced. Familiar faces, voices and locations tend to assuage him.
At home, I got him to sign 100 prints of the new "Love Thy Neighbor" serigraph. This is a special treat because he does not often want to sign, and when he does he will sometimes stop at 50. His signature is very close to his original, and once he gets started, it comes easily for him, but getting him started is not always easy. I have on occasion found myself gently coaxing him for over an hour before giving up.
He will look at his prints, admire them and comment how beautiful they are. I'm pretty certain he recognizes who the artist is, but if I ask he won't say. He just won't sign. Almost as if he feared signing.
So you see, Friday was a good day that became a bad day and Saturday was a good day. His behavior is quite unpredicatable, which is a big part of managing him. If we knew what to anticipate it would be a piece of cake...or not.
Labels: Alzheimer's, bad days, day care, good days
Comments:
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Hey Lenny,
They say that life hands to each one of us, only what we can handle. I can't imagine how tough it must be but it is very clear through your writing that both in good days and bad days, your love surpasses it all.
I wish your dad many peaceful moments.
Best,
Claudia
They say that life hands to each one of us, only what we can handle. I can't imagine how tough it must be but it is very clear through your writing that both in good days and bad days, your love surpasses it all.
I wish your dad many peaceful moments.
Best,
Claudia
# posted by 
: 6:51 PM
: 6:51 PM
Hi Len,
My thoughts are with you and your family. What an amazing person you are. I know your dad is proud of you. Much love,
Cathy
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My thoughts are with you and your family. What an amazing person you are. I know your dad is proud of you. Much love,
Cathy
# posted by : 12:55 PM
: 12:55 PM << Home
